


Let Him Go (again)

by TheSpectator



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Multi, Please Don't Kill Me, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10577661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpectator/pseuds/TheSpectator
Summary: Merasmus knew that the day that Jane spoke about her, he would have to let go of him. Despite the same thing always being repeated in his lifetime. It's getting sickening.Why does Jane keep coming back to him? Is this his consenquence for being immortal?





	

 

It all started when Jane came home after the battles against RED and BLU. Jane stomped inside with his heavy boots, making it obvious that he was home. But what was odd here was the big grin pasted on his face. Okay, he always does that, but this time, it was more of a... Genuine grin? Something was definitely up. Merasmus had a bad feeling about this, but he waited patiently, almost wishing that whatever was going to happen would happen quickly and painless...

"Hello, Merasmus! I'm home." Jane shouted, making Merasmus look up from his book. Jane sat down on the couch before Merasmus.

Merasmus inhales and exhales, a deep sigh. "Hello. How did it go?" Jane knew exactly what he was asking about.

"We won once again! The BLU Demoman left the battlefield with my shovel stuck in his knee." That grin still plastered on his face. Then it softened a little. "Um, Merasmus.. I need to talk to you." Soldier was now playing with his fingers nervously.

Merasmus just wanted to get up and leave, but promised himself to listen with patience. So instead of making it obvious that he probably knew what was going on, Merasmus asks: "What have you done now?"

"Nothing! I promise. Just... I wanted to talk to you about... Remember when I told you about that incident in Russia?" Jane is now looking down as he's speaking. Merasmus doesn't answer, so Jane looks up, his eyes protected by the big helmet which makes it hard to read his face. Jane continues: "And remember Zhanna? You know the pretty lady... I.. I think I'm deeply in love with her, Merasmus. "

At that moment, Merasmus' hands on the book he was holding were clenched very hard. The unforgettable flashbacks were brought back, the familiar pain in his chest where the heart was supposed to be was burning in flames. His lower lip was shaking, soon followed by his whole body. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"She very nice! I promise, Merasmus. You'd like her too..." Soldier is smiling a little as he tries to enlighten the silent Wizard with positive things.

"Um.." Merasmus' voice cracks, he clears his throat and continues: "That's very nice, um... Why are you telling me this?" Merasmus keeps a straight expression, not planning on letting out any emotions.

"I also wanted to tell you that she'll be living with us... SHE'S VERY NICE, I PROMISE. PLEASE, MERASMUS." Merasmus was speechless, how in the name of the past elders is he supposed to live one day here knowing that his lover was with a another woman? Merasmus was never good enough. Sure he was a serious wizard, but he wasn't always like this, he became like this after all the past lifetimes with Jane, how was he supposed to repeat the same expressions, he could not. It was sickening. He just wanted to break down, like he always did. But he could not. He had wasted all his tears for his Jane until he was left with synthetic tears made out of magic. This man was driving him insane. His temper was short, his eyes were serious and lips were resting in a straight line.

Jane turns his head towards the door, and suddenly, a certain Zhanna is stepping inside, looking beautiful as always... She sits beside Jane, looking straight at me with a small smile. Soldier holds her hand in his, both looking at eachother then at Merasmus, who's sitting in front on them.

"Do not push your friend." Zhanna strokes Jane's hand which makes Merasmus sick to his stomach. But then he thought, if Jane was happy... Then it didn't matter, right? He laughed nervously in his mind... Right? Anything for his Jane.

...He loved him so much it made him sick. He held his tears in. Merasmus made sure his voice was not cracking again. "Alright" He replied. A simple reply that could mean the opposite, but he did not care. If Jane wanted this, then he would stay out of it, stay out of everything about them and carry on. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Just forgive and forget.

"THANK YOU, MERASMUS. I promise that Zhanna will not cause any trouble at all, right Zhanna?" He turned his head to Zhanna, smiling geniunely... The smile that used to make his heart melt with happiness, now with sadness and emptiness, because that smile was not meant for him. Ever.

-The next day-

Jane proceeded with packing all of Zhanna's things and bringing them to the castle. Merasmus was sitting in his room, as usual, preparing potions... But not this time, no. He picked every potions that he had, opened the lids and poured the liquids out, not letting a single trace left. He knew that Jane would probably mess with them, like he usually would do. So why not get rid of them all... before he leaves? Merasmus chuckles sadly to himself.

The skull that was not on his head anymore was now sitting on his bed, the eye that was looking at Merasmus was not a happy one.

Merasmus decided to leave one potion. That one potion he kept in secrecy, away from Jane, away from everyone. Why hadn't he thought of this before..? This would end all pain and suffering. Easy, right?

Merasmus locked his door, moves his skull away and lies down in his bed, holding up the potion in a small bottle. It had a dark purple color, the color of pain. They wouldn't notice that he had been gone for some time, until then, they will find his body and Jane might burn it. That would be perfect. His existence would be wiped. The Scout was right, he was after all doomed to die alone. No more pain would be caused by him, he would leave Jane alone.

He waits...

 

Half on the day has passed by and Jane decides to call Merasmus for dinner so he knocks on his door. No answer. He tries to open the door, but the door seems to be locked. "Merasmus? I just wanted to ask if you'd like to join us for dinner? Zhanna made delicious food!"Once again, there was no answer, so he assumed that Merasmus was asleep or working, but he'd usually tell him to go away. And why was the door locked? Was he working on a new posion?Jane was now curious.

"Merasmus, open up, I wanna see what you're working on. I promise I'll be good!" It was suspiciously dead quiet. "Merasmus, are you there? Come on, I won't cause any trouble." ...

"Merasmus?" He bangs on the door. "Merasmus, open up..." He attempts to open the door, but fails many times. "Merasmus! Open up before I break it!" Absolutely no answer.

Jane kicks the door three times until it breaks. He hurries inside and sees Merasmus on his bed, eyes closed, face peacefully. "Merasmus! I'm so sorry for breaking your door I didn't know-..." Merasmus did not wake up by any of it...

Jane steps closer, he touches Merasmus' face, his face is cold, very cold, and is it.. Is it rusting..? Jane flinches back in shock, as if he broke something. "MERASMUS! MERASMUS! WAKE UP!" He shakes Merasmus harshly, as if requiring any answer from him. But none. "MERASMUS, PLEASE, STOP SLEEPING- LOOK, ME AND ZHANNA BOUGHT YOU THESE ROSES, I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T LIKE FLOWERS-" ....

"..Me..Merasmus.. Please.. Look..! Look.. Merasmus.." He sinks down on the floor near the edge of the bed, his hand on Merasmus' chest, holding three red roses very hard in his hands until blood is covering his palm. "...I love you, Merasmus.. Please.. Let me prove it.. Merasmus..."

He rests his head near Merasmus' body, tears running down his cheeks like rain. With a shaky voice, he whispers: "I am sorry, Merasmus.. I love you.. Please never forget that."

What Jane did not notice was the letter on the very end of the bed.

 

...

**Author's Note:**

> This was also posted on Wattpad by me. I hope you enjoyed it.


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